As I ponder over what to write as my first post, TV provides me the food for thought. My mom was watching one of the umpteen reality shows one can get on the tube now. I have a good mind to actually list out all the shows that have, are and will be going on air. Since I have to cajole myself to actually get out of my room and switch channels from Euro to these amazingly arcane and unintelligent shows, I promise to do it later. Till then, here are some points to ponder on:
Most shows are scripted. My brother has attended two shows (Saregamapa and Mission Ustaad) and he tells me that there is a huge LCD screen beneath the stage showing each and every dialogue that one has to mouth. Even the judges’ comments are penned and they are shown with expressions accounted for in the display. Well, I guess reality is one thing not in store for us. But the people continue to get swayed and moved over by emotions and hang onto their hearts as their ‘manpasand stars’ carve their road to supposed glory.
Have you ever noticed that each judge has more or less the same thing to say? And I don’t blame him. If you ask me how 10 guys sung some arbit songs, I won’t remember either. (This brings back memories of my ‘audition’ for the college freshers function J)
Each contestant has one thing to learn and that is to beg for votes. I think there must be manual to how to make a show. If not, consider this as a guide.
MANUAL TO ‘REALITY’ SHOWS IN INDIA:
1. Get people to participate: Most people are jobless and will jump at the possibility of becoming a star (?). If not, dig out a bunch of jobless celebs and you have your participants aka Big Boss. It had Aryan Vaid (who you cant make out if he’s on the ramp or in a film scene if you blacken the background), Rahul Roy( of Phir Teri Kahaani Yaad Ayi fame i.e. 15 year old fame), Rakhi Sawant (no comments), Rupa Ganguly, Ravi Kishen (Bhojpuri Shah Rukh on a hiatus I guess), and a model and others whose names I can’t remember, even after the show.
2. Get the ‘honourable’ judges: The procedure is to be the same or pay huge money and get someone good. I saw a channel with Divya Dutta as the judge for a comedy show.(?????) How? Why? What qualifies as a judge? I have no clue.
3. Get a host: This guy/girl has the best/worst job depending on how you look at it. He is a fly on the wall, looks on as all the judges and contestants battle it out for the most coveted possession in India’s history - marks. He is a neutral observer in all the fights, tears or laughter filled sagas and just has to keep the show on. But keeping you ‘glued to the screen’ is no mean feat. He/she also has to prolong the show to help stretch it for 1 hour.
4. Get sponsors and a channel: Most importantly, get people to pump in the moolah.
There you go. My first post and that too about one of the dumbest things on television. The sheer magnitude of shock which I experience when I watch the amount of stupidity that goes on TV is astounding. Has Indian TV actually gone so bad or are we just so dumbed down that we are satisfied with anything we are offered? Or is it just that everyone knows it, they are just waiting for someone to start so they can join later? That I guess is what we like to call the typical Indian attitude, the world famous ‘Chalta hai attitude’.
Lets see what else the holiday joblessness can conjure up here on the net.