Friday, June 20, 2008

Indian Television: The Dawn of a New Era(of stupidity and ignorance)

As I ponder over what to write as my first post, TV provides me the food for thought. My mom was watching one of the umpteen reality shows one can get on the tube now. I have a good mind to actually list out all the shows that have, are and will be going on air. Since I have to cajole myself to actually get out of my room and switch channels from Euro to these amazingly arcane and unintelligent shows, I promise to do it later. Till then, here are some points to ponder on:

Most shows are scripted. My brother has attended two shows (Saregamapa and Mission Ustaad) and he tells me that there is a huge LCD screen beneath the stage showing each and every dialogue that one has to mouth. Even the judges’ comments are penned and they are shown with expressions accounted for in the display. Well, I guess reality is one thing not in store for us. But the people continue to get swayed and moved over by emotions and hang onto their hearts as their ‘manpasand stars’ carve their road to supposed glory.
Have you ever noticed that each judge has more or less the same thing to say? And I don’t blame him. If you ask me how 10 guys sung some arbit songs, I won’t remember either. (This brings back memories of my ‘audition’ for the college freshers function J)
Each contestant has one thing to learn and that is to beg for votes. I think there must be manual to how to make a show. If not, consider this as a guide.

MANUAL TO ‘REALITY’ SHOWS IN INDIA:

1. Get people to participate: Most people are jobless and will jump at the possibility of becoming a star (?). If not, dig out a bunch of jobless celebs and you have your participants aka Big Boss. It had Aryan Vaid (who you cant make out if he’s on the ramp or in a film scene if you blacken the background), Rahul Roy( of Phir Teri Kahaani Yaad Ayi fame i.e. 15 year old fame), Rakhi Sawant (no comments), Rupa Ganguly, Ravi Kishen (Bhojpuri Shah Rukh on a hiatus I guess), and a model and others whose names I can’t remember, even after the show.
2. Get the ‘honourable’ judges: The procedure is to be the same or pay huge money and get someone good. I saw a channel with Divya Dutta as the judge for a comedy show.(?????) How? Why? What qualifies as a judge? I have no clue.
3. Get a host: This guy/girl has the best/worst job depending on how you look at it. He is a fly on the wall, looks on as all the judges and contestants battle it out for the most coveted possession in India’s history - marks. He is a neutral observer in all the fights, tears or laughter filled sagas and just has to keep the show on. But keeping you ‘glued to the screen’ is no mean feat. He/she also has to prolong the show to help stretch it for 1 hour.
4. Get sponsors and a channel: Most importantly, get people to pump in the moolah.

There you go. My first post and that too about one of the dumbest things on television. The sheer magnitude of shock which I experience when I watch the amount of stupidity that goes on TV is astounding. Has Indian TV actually gone so bad or are we just so dumbed down that we are satisfied with anything we are offered? Or is it just that everyone knows it, they are just waiting for someone to start so they can join later? That I guess is what we like to call the typical Indian attitude, the world famous ‘Chalta hai attitude’.

Lets see what else the holiday joblessness can conjure up here on the net.

11 comments:

Neeraj said...

hmm..nice one to start with
a friend and I were discussing how with more economic progress, people get dumber and stupider as demonstrated most notably by Uncle Sam. India is going that way

Vasavadatta.Y.T said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vasavadatta.Y.T said...

Good start.
I was watching "panchvi pass" with my mom yesterday, and we both marvelled about how amazingly dumb the whole gig was,I mean,anyone with even traces of positive,real numbered IQ could walk away a millionaire after participation in these "quiz" shows (almost,but not quite,kudos to the DoIT).The fact that people do not manage to do the aforementioned gives you a large amt of funny,cynical matter for speculation.
As for musical game shows, they form a formidable league of their own -fighting bitterly for TRPs-and in the process rising to new heights (or falling to new depths?). Each one of these is markedly similar to the other, and I wonder how they are in the business still, for I don't watch them for nuts,and i know lots of people do not either.


I'll conclude by cracking a pj. "Reality" shows are a sign of the changing times, reflecting the face of a new, technologically advanced India ... its virtual reality, you see.

Link-O-Downloads said...

A Great start dude........I have 2 totally agree With You on this...one Of my Friends worked as an assistant in big boss.....and the only thing he had to tell me was... the scripting is not done episode by episode.......but for the whole show that 2 befor the show goes on air with some twists and turns introduced in the middle.

If one obesrrves very minutely he will be able to notice that almost everything on t.v is Scripted to play with the viewer's emotes and the tagline becomes that "thinking that they are being entertained the viewers become fools and the tele guys end up earning loads of money........."

SSD said...

About panchvi paas, I saw the Kareena Saif episode and Saif was pretty much good on his answers but Kareena thought(a looootttt) when answering a q. on which vowel doesnt occur when u write the numbers from 1-10 in words..

I guess there is nothing else to say.

The Ice Man said...

good one... but you forgot the SMS's thats what keeps most people glued to the tele and makes them feel "involved"....

Estranged Strangely said...

Crack. Ace article. Pertinent and funny.

karthik said...

good start man.
personally i think reality shows are loads of shit which manage to stir up peoples emotions by penned scripts and celebs.
but as long as itz entertainment i don't really care.there is a demand for time pass and reality shows happen to be a way

Karthik R. said...

Jesus Christ.. I pray to thee to emancipate my deranged friend's soul. Save him from the scrouge of holidays.

SSD said...

hahaha..LOL..btw, was it so bad?? :)

kartik said...

welcome to the world of television!!! there are no morals here, no message to send, no purpose in anything apart from gathering the greens! The scripted reality show idea is something we have taken from the west...we take everything from the west.....but we take it one level higher!!! No big deal, if you can have K serials with their standard a shitty storyline and forced expressions of love and concern ridden to its core with hypocrisies (if you see it closely), you can also have scripted reality.