Saturday, August 30, 2008

High, Higher, Highest!!!!!

Hehehe. Its all about the magic of perspective. I love the pic. Its not photoshopped or edited. I did jump (though from a lower height than apparent). 

Rock On Review

All you (rich) rockers, this is your story. Band formed, band rocked for a few years, band disintegrates due to ego hassles, band reformed.

Its basically the story of a band called Magik(Ekta Kapoor anyone?) and their journey. As youngsters, they just go places, play their music, have fun and have no worries in the world. They have pot loads of money (Ibanez Jem, Line 6 amps, PODs, Gibson guitars, Fenders flying around everywhere, Tama drumkits, Sabian cymbals and what not). They win a chance to record an album and then screw it up because the lead guitarist Joe(Arjun Rampal) thinks that Aditya(Farhan Akhtar) is hogging the limelight. 10 years later, Adi(the investment banker) is still fighting the 'demons' of past(Please!), thereby playing with his marital life and his lovely wife Sakshi(Prachi Desai). The other two members KD(Purab Kohli) and Rob(Luke Kenny) are hanging around in the same city.

The reunion is successful and they get another shot at the same album recording. But 'Fate' has another ace(rather 2 aces) up its sleeve. Rob has brain tumor(after all the ganja sessions) and Joe, the 'poor' man of the band has to leave for a cruise job as a musician which pays a hell lot.

The story has nothing much to offer and the only noticeable performances were Purab Kohli and Farhan Akhtar(to some extent). The girls are purely for eye candy( which is necessary) i.e Debbie(the nagging wife), the ex and the friend. The plotholes are so big that you can drive a truck through them. Here is a list.

1. Arjun Rampal has an Ibanez Jem which costs about Rs. 90000. Add to that the equipment and the total comes upto about 1.5 lakh. Plus he has a whole range of acoustic guitars. And he's supposed to be poor.
2. Why does Farhan Akhtar leave his girlfriend?
3. The logical thing to do was to record the first album and then put in the special ballad in the second album. But no, you have to fight and screw your chance for fame and money.
4. Frankly, I think Farhan did little wrong. Arjun 'lead guitar' Rampal picked a fight for no reason. And to think that his girlfriend had her hopes up of a chance at styling the video when the channel has a host of designers at their beck and call.

1. The band singing Zehreele are all Indian musicians. Vox = Suraj Jaggan (Dream Out Loud), guitars = Chandresh Kudawa.Also Dream Out Loud(Amazing guitars. Listen to the solo in Zehreelay)
2. Arjun Rampal can barely play the chords. He can't play any solos.
3. Luke Kenny is a VJ and was the judge at Channel [V] Launchpad( the very contest referred to in the film, except that they don't offer a record deal).
4. No Indian rock concert is as crowded as shown in the film. There are barely 200 people at the shows.

Coming to the music of the film, its pretty much standard rock n' roll, so it's nothing to brag about. Sindbad the Sailor starts exactly as Highway Star (Deep Purple) and has all the qualities of a typical Hindi rock song. The title track and 'Teri Meri Baatein' are the only good songs in the film. Tum ho toh(Debbie's ballad) is worth a listen.

The film is barely watchable. Don't blow your money on the multiplexes. Watch it on your comps.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Enaqbz Penc

Sessionals are almost over. And they were nothing to be proud of. I'm in a cranky mood and people are talking movies here. Living in hostels can screw your movie taste.
So let me ruin some movies for you. I'm not much of a fan of Hindi movies, purely because they linger somewhere between reality and fiction. Rather, they choose to show selective reality. Here are some movies in a nutshell.
1. Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham: Boy is adopted by rich parents. Boy falls in love with poor girl. Parents refuse, boy leaves. Younger brother brings him back.
2. Apne(!!!!): Father is a boxer. He is rejected as a coach by his protege. Younger son steps in to defend fathers honour as older on is too busy making moolah. Younger one dies almost. Elder brother wins. Younger brother is alive again.
3. Aamir: Terrorists force an NRI Muslim to plant a bomb in a bus in Bombay as they have his family in captivity. He doesn't and dies.
4. Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic: Angel saves the day (for the kids), brings love into the 'family' and also has a kid.
5. Tara Rum Pum: Racer wins. Gets the girl. Then he loses. Then he gets the girl again.
6. Kabhi Alvida Na Kehnaa: Two dysfunctional couples figure they can't stay together(1 person in each couple). So they don't.
7. Hum Aapke Hain Koun: 2 weddings, 17 songs and a funeral.
8. Hum Saath Saath Hain: Modern day Ramayana.
9. Kismat Konnection: Guy has no luck. He meets his lucky charm, the girl. They marry.
10. Maine Pyaar Kiya: Boy loves girl.
11. Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai: Boy loves girl. Boy is killed by girl's father. Girl gets boy replaced. Father goes to jail.
12. Heyy Babyy: Three men, a baby and English gone horribly wrong.
13. Neal and Nikki: Boy has loads of girls before he marries. Girl runs around in less clothes with him. He marries her and saves money on clothes.
14. Devdas: Man loves girl. He can't marry her. So he drinks himself to death.( Why he can't marry her is a mystery. Just because his parents say no?. He's rich for god's sake.)

PS: This is a result of a bad exam hangover. Personally, some of the movies have very good entertainment value. Forgive me if I have 'offended' some sections of the public(LOL).

Monday, August 25, 2008

<-(SRV)<- the Great!

If you don't understand this post, don't panic. Its pure crap.

He was a very nice person when born. He smiled at the nurse, the parents and everyone else. Initially, the boy showed great promise. But he had difficulty concentrating. So his parents went to the doctor who then advised," The boy needs an iron hand. " And iron hand it was. The parents turned into martinets. Timetables and strict guidelines rained upon the poor kid and ruined his life. And the boy showed no improvement. In fact, he grew more timid and lonely. But the charts were ingrained in his mind. They were his only hope. His precious babies!

Come school and the boy was bullied a lot. School proved to be a nightmare. All the taunts, all the jabs induced a paranoia in the boy. He started stammering(" 'Tick' hai!). Everyone someone came upto him, he broke sweat. He could always be seen with his hand in his pocket and wiping his dripping forehead. He hated the world for what it was. He hated everyone.

6 years of undergrad and grad studies changed the boy. He was sweet and kind(yet timid). He became a teacher and showered all his love on the pupils. But one thing he did not forget, was his love of charts, graphs, notices and timetables. The 'loveable' teacher loved the students with all the percentages and charts he could fathom. He 'explained' to them, the subject with all its nuances. But unfortunately, he forgot that he was teaching 20 year olds and not 12 year old students. Try as he might, he could not satisfy the students. He even tried the good cop, bad cop routine but to no avail.

Thus, again, he only received hate and anger. Frustrated with life, he decided to fight fire with fire. Thus, the next year, the 2nd batch of children bore the brunt of his anger. They were decimated. And yes, he liked seeing this. It rained notices, classes, charts, graphs, assignments upon the poor souls who had no idea what hit them. Morning classes were deliberately canceled and evening classes were taken to help the students tide over the sleepiness. After all, he was helping them. He was helping them take anger management classes and increasing their patience. Or so he thought.

2 years on, THE BATCH and him meet again. It's a head on collision which can only result in death of either of the aforementioned. The little boy has grown up. He is a man. He is power-drunk, and knows the extent of his power (unfortunately for him), for he can only have a small inventory of weapons. The batch however has an experience of 15 years. And that, my friends is something extraordinary.

Just wait and watch. Come November, a murder shall happen. And no Sherlock is needed to solve it. It shall be Murder on the Central India Express.

AK streak continues!

1. I have lost yet another quiz in similar fashion.

2. I hit the post, went just above the bar, and even hit a penalty. Only two people from my team managed a penalty (myself included). It was like we took the match into our hands, and then kissed it goodbye. It wasn't sweet parting at all.

I hope this streak doesn't carry over to the sessionals.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Akhand Katwagiri!

Two weeks have thus passed since our wing has been renamed the AK wing. We are a collection of 'katwas' of the whole Insti. By the way, katwa = a person with perennial bad luck everywhere. It's a euphemism for loser. Fatbaby, dukkar,tubelight, jaggu, me, dedhia and ugam. Some instances to help support the aforementioned conclusion:
1. Fatbaby orders omlette in mess. It takes time to arrive. He is hellbent on shouting on top of his voice at the mess guy. As soon as he warms up and gets ready, the mess guy arrives and all hopes of an entertaining encounter are lost. Fatbaby has fallen short of English cutoffs consecutively by 1 mark. Same with me for DI.
2. Dedhia's interview disasters continue to persist. He's been downed by 4 interviews and a GD( though still going strong).
3. I joined the wing only this year and the bad luck has taken over my life too. I was leading in a quiz (one place I generally win) and last round was a double or nothing. The other team doubled and I ended up with nothing.
4. On more than one occasion, on a very sunny day, it has rained the moment we left the hostel for a trip or a ride.
5. Dukkar's carom exploits are now famous. He is notoriously unlucky in the game and the queen seems to evade him always (and not only in the game). Ahemmm, Cognizant anyone?
6. Jaggu lost yesterday in carom inspite of being an excellent player.
7. Tubelight was given this very moniker, a quality which his friends failed to notice for the last 2 years.
8. Newsletter ahoy! Nowhere in sight. Thanks to LMG. (This issue has now been sorted out. One more is left. HTT has his say in that)
9. I lent my cam to a senior. He has conveniently forgotten to return the USB cable.
10. Fatbaby's name was omitted from the roll list and his DD was misplaced. LOL.
I remember only the milder instances. More AK next time!

Monday, August 4, 2008

(Mess)Food for Thought!

Well, its been a while since I wrote, primarily because of lack of internet access (ahem, LAN wires). I've been thinking of what to write about as the first few weeks of college are truly useless. That too, in a city where virtually nothing happens. Welcome to 'Sleepy Haollow'.
One thing I did find entertaining was the trust vote day. But for the fact that TV was unavailable, I would have been glued to it, anxiously waiting for the results. Some MPs were simply ignorant about what the N-Deal was. Well, RG, himself didn't know what IAEA was. Pure entertainment. As I said, news channel = complete package. For more details, check the article on India TV.

I wonder what the horses would like to say about all the allegations? I think India TV would very well like to cover the story if they can find a person to do it.

Lastly, (and mostly out of the blue), think about this line:

" A rich man's joke is always funny."