Monday, August 25, 2008

<-(SRV)<- the Great!

If you don't understand this post, don't panic. Its pure crap.

He was a very nice person when born. He smiled at the nurse, the parents and everyone else. Initially, the boy showed great promise. But he had difficulty concentrating. So his parents went to the doctor who then advised," The boy needs an iron hand. " And iron hand it was. The parents turned into martinets. Timetables and strict guidelines rained upon the poor kid and ruined his life. And the boy showed no improvement. In fact, he grew more timid and lonely. But the charts were ingrained in his mind. They were his only hope. His precious babies!

Come school and the boy was bullied a lot. School proved to be a nightmare. All the taunts, all the jabs induced a paranoia in the boy. He started stammering(" 'Tick' hai!). Everyone someone came upto him, he broke sweat. He could always be seen with his hand in his pocket and wiping his dripping forehead. He hated the world for what it was. He hated everyone.

6 years of undergrad and grad studies changed the boy. He was sweet and kind(yet timid). He became a teacher and showered all his love on the pupils. But one thing he did not forget, was his love of charts, graphs, notices and timetables. The 'loveable' teacher loved the students with all the percentages and charts he could fathom. He 'explained' to them, the subject with all its nuances. But unfortunately, he forgot that he was teaching 20 year olds and not 12 year old students. Try as he might, he could not satisfy the students. He even tried the good cop, bad cop routine but to no avail.

Thus, again, he only received hate and anger. Frustrated with life, he decided to fight fire with fire. Thus, the next year, the 2nd batch of children bore the brunt of his anger. They were decimated. And yes, he liked seeing this. It rained notices, classes, charts, graphs, assignments upon the poor souls who had no idea what hit them. Morning classes were deliberately canceled and evening classes were taken to help the students tide over the sleepiness. After all, he was helping them. He was helping them take anger management classes and increasing their patience. Or so he thought.

2 years on, THE BATCH and him meet again. It's a head on collision which can only result in death of either of the aforementioned. The little boy has grown up. He is a man. He is power-drunk, and knows the extent of his power (unfortunately for him), for he can only have a small inventory of weapons. The batch however has an experience of 15 years. And that, my friends is something extraordinary.

Just wait and watch. Come November, a murder shall happen. And no Sherlock is needed to solve it. It shall be Murder on the Central India Express.


Vasavadatta.Y.T said...

Brilliant,brilliant,brilliant stuff from The Cynic. Absolutely smashing. Kickass.
So much so that I can’t resist putting up an addendum. Here goes nothing:

The Batch, as they are fondly called, are not as dumb as He makes them out to be, and vice-versa. Who ever heard of a two-page long flow-chart for a 6-line code? The Batch hadn’t. So, kind and ever eager (as always) to impart knowledge on extramural (almost, but not quite; I just love this word.) topics, He tells them, and even gives a demo. As He redefines program-writing by creating his own version of flow-charts (we told you he was extremely gifted), He throws his deadly googly on The Batch, who seemingly are caught on the backfoot. But are they? The smart, >150 IQ members of The Batch quickly work out that writing 6 lines of code is the more eco-friendly thing to do as compared to expending artistic energies in drawing boxes of varied sizes, saving more paper, ink, etc etc. Some even attempt a straight drive on the googly by planning to confuse the oppressor by having their flowchart belie their codes. They, cruel, heartless souls, have figured out that confounding Him is a sure-shot method to revive the symptoms of the childhood disease we told you about. The symptoms then snowball into breathlessness and uncontrolled sweating. So everyone’s happy (in The Batch, at least), as they believe they’ve won the bout, at least this once.

But much though The Batch might make plans and schemes to overthrow Him, the majority seem to overlook the fact that He would teach them a pseudo-elective the next sem, giving Him more than ample opportunity to have His redemption. So He’s scored a one-up on The Batch in terms of long-term-strategy.

So, what next? Does The Batch come up with a better-than-brilliant political scheme with a long-term outlook? Or does our protagonist achieve His dream of getting the better of them? Only time will tell, as SSD mentions. But time won’t tell in November, as he (SSD) claims. The final curtain call comes in April 2009. We wait with bated breath for the outcome.

karthik said...

this what i always thought of the 'sweet little boy' but never realized.the real loser that he is he'll find out the batch is too good for him.