Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Glob(us)trotting

Monsoon brings out the scientist in me. Strange isn't it? Because most people tend to be poetic during the rains, with all the natural beauty in its finest splendour, and the greenery at its fullest colour (and Wordsworth just died a second death). But what is the best thing about monsoon are the end-of-season sales at all the apparel stores, with their huge signs and mouthwatering percentages inviting economically frugal (read cheap) people like me to shop. Hence I visited the store nearest to my place, Globus; since I wanted to buy cheap clothes expand my wardrobe.

The first thing I noticed was all the swine flu masks people were wearing. Just to screw around a little, I coughed a couple of times (and also due to the fact that I do have a cough. No it’s not swine flu) and the guy next to me gave me the “Keep your germs to yourself” look. After I was done with my “shopping” and was waiting to get charged for all the discounted items (Yay!), the scientist in me decided to hunt around a little and gather some observations about this new environment (Yes, I hate malls). And the big green Globus feedback book was what I got my hands on. Let me tell you, its funny enough to be published as a humour column, with all the useful comments. Here are some exhibits and some replies the Globus manager sent to them (OK, I did the replies)


Exhibit One: “I liked the store and the service was very attractive.”

Dear Sir,

Happy to know you liked the store. How about the collection? We go through a rigorous procedure to select our staff, and we currently have no offers related to the staff getting hitched. We shall let you know of the offer, if you so require.

Regards,

Globus Matrimonial Dept.

Exhibit Two: “The staff was really courteous at Thane. The assistants at the VT store were really cheap.”


Dear Madam,

I shall get in touch with the store manager at VT. The discount season has perhaps gotten to you. Only the clothes are for sale and not the staff.


Regards,

"Staff Sales" Manager


Exhibit Three: “The music was too loud and I couldn’t hear anything.”


Dear Sir,

I apologise for the inconvenience caused to you. The music is one of the many services we provide, and we shall try to incorporate your suggestion. Let us know if we should have a coffee machine and some chairs so that you can enjoy a good conversation. Also find attached, the number of an ENT specialist for your reference.

Regards,

Globus is a Restaurant Dept.


Exhibit four: “I enjoyed it totally. The staff was very helpful, the collection was good, and the best thing was the discounts.”


Dear Madam,

Happy to know you liked it. Discounts are the best things in the world. Do visit our store during non discount days. We look forward to seeing you (atleast once).

Regards,

Discount Damodar.


Exhibit Five: “The collection was too boring. Jazz it up.”


Dear Sir,

We shall look into the matter. We are also in talks with our designers so that they can coordinate with some stand-up comedians so that the collections can provide some entertainment for you.

Also find attached the address for Not Just Jazz By The Way for your reference.

Regards,

Entertainment Dept.

7 comments:

fatbaby said...

good one.
I was really hoping for datar and dukki diaries 2... but this was good too.

Digant Trivedi said...

same here.. im w8in for dukki... newaz. d replies were good.. typical pappu style.. nice..

Nikki said...

Lol. How do you manage to come up with these?

SSD said...

Come up with what?

Aggie M said...

*snigger* I like #2
malls suck. your blog is different.
And PBS rules!!
check out stephan pastis's blog.funny.

GaYaTrI said...

too good!
hilarious replies by the manager!!

and yeah.. not just jazz by the way... the mumbai memories! :(
really envy you mumbaikars!!

all time timepass.. said...

good one!! Sometimes datar is really funny!! :P
Keep it up.. :)