Monday, October 12, 2009

Ladies Special

The title is a JAM hangover. Don’t bother. I just witnessed an astounding cat fight (*evil satisfying grin*) at Dadar station a few days ago, at the door of the second class ladies compartment of the 19:14 Karjat train. Now when it is a Karjat train, most know to avoid getting in, since it is hopelessly crowded. Here is what happened.

19:14


I just reach platform 4 at Dadar.


19:14: 28


Train arrives at station.


19:15


Two women, amongst the many, (try) to get down while double the numbers of women try to get in. Hair gets pulled and feet get stamped.


19:15:30


Woman # 1: Beats the hell out of someone with an umbrella and her purse.


Woman # 2: Assists above with bare hands and her deadly claws.


19:16


Victim retaliates by pulling hair of assailant.


Timeline unimportant anymore


Train starts to leave.


Woman # 1: Saali, kutti, kameeni, neeche aa. Dikhati hoon tere ko.


Woman # 2: R***i, baal kheechti hai! (Enquiring, my dear lady?)


“Victim” (from the door): Bhikari ki aulad!@#$% (Sadly fades away)


Woman # 1 (with double the vigour): Saali, doob maregi tu. Tera poora khandaan jal ke raakh ho jaye! Khaadi mein gir ke mar ja.


Woman # 2: Bi**h. Chhod yaar. Chal jaane de.


Woman # 1: Baal kheechti hai saali. Phir kahin milne de. Usko to leti hu main baraabar se.


I was completely shocked. For a minute, I was just staring at the spot where all this happened. I just wondered if this had happened in the men’s compartment, what would have happened. No wait, this happens every day.


MORAL 1: DO NOT pull a woman’s hair AT ANY COST. Read above for consequences.


MORAL 2: Girls can swear equally well, if not better. It’s a rare phenomenon, and when it does happen, consider yourself lucky to witness it.

8 comments:

Neeraj said...

Hilarious!

What the level of frustration must be to hurl such abuses at random (albeit those who pull your hair) ladies. Damn, when will I get to watch such a fight?

SSD said...

@Neeraj When you start travelling in local trains every freaking day!

Mayukh said...

hahaha, now if you are travelling by locals everyday, try to get into one of these so called "video coaches", i.e one half is the ladies first class and another is general second class. The two are separated by a wire mesh. You will witness awesome fights in peak hour.

Nikki said...

Hahahahaha! Steer clear when this happens too!

swati nidiganti said...

haha.. We have been a part of one such fight, but it had a VNIT touch, where Pam told a lady to f*** off and considering that the fight ended with that, I dont think the lady understood what it meant!

SSD said...

@Swati Which lady?

BhaskarQuiz said...

You must have missed your train!! But I guess it was worth it!! Yes women can swear much more than needed. Yes never pull a woman's hair for that matter never pull anybody's hair it get messy when u do!!

SSD said...

@BhaskarQuiz Haha. I'll NEVER attempt any such thing. It's fatal.