Friday, January 22, 2010

The MBA Diaries # 2: SNAPshots

Too much has been going on in my life. I’ve been busy listening to other people grumble on the trains, smelling their hair, getting pushed around and squeezed like a lemon. And when I’m not doing all of the above, I take exams. I can actually make it a hobby of mine. Every alternate Sunday had actually turned out to be Mumbai Darshan, and of course, the voyeuristic sport of people-watching.

Just before my SNAP, I’d chatted with one of my friends who’d said, “Tu Symbi kyun de raha hai? You should aim for the IIMs only.” (This is true. I’m not making it up.) The faith shown in me by my and parents friends spurs me on every day (DONOT mistake this for depression. I’m just plain bored of work, success, future, planning, career and all other associated words. So I went with a determination rarely seen in me to my centre.

Kirti M. Doongursee College, Dadar.

Now Dadar is a region I now know fairly well, thanks to my job at Worli (which I refuse to call it by its true address). Worli is way cooler than ‘Kaliandas Udyog Bhavan, Near Century Bazaar, Prabhadevi’. I’d gladly tell everyone it was Siddhivinayak, but its 10 mins walk from the hallowed temple.

Anyway, I didn’t quite know where Kirti College was and the address only said Veer Savarkar Marg, which stretches all the way to Worli, and probably even further. So I caught a cab at Dadar station (after being nearly killed by oncoming buses and cabs). It was SNAP – so I expected a lot hoi polloi there (how smug, no?). I gave a lift to two other guys who had difficulty finding cabs (Dadar station is pretty close to the college). Kirti college is near the coast, from where you can manage an awesome view of the Bandra-Worli sea link. I only wondered if the same view was available from the classrooms (in case I screwed up my test). My question was just about to be answered.

The college is old. Really old. And the classrooms have windows in the back. Not like most classrooms where air flows across the room. Air flew right through the room here, so if Kareena 'Size Zero' Kapoor was here (*suppresses laughter*), a strong wind could enter from the 'backside' and take her along through the door. And I did what most people do when they go to exam centers. Ask where the washroom (okay toilet!) was. It was at the other end of the huge corridor, and a walkathon later, I entered my classroom. And found these words written on the board.

Newton’s law of attraction: The most rowdy and gunda of all guys always run behind the simplest of girls. The law doesn’t hold true vice versa.

No SNAP 2009. No test date or time. This. I swear it is true.

SNAP is held in the afternoon at 2, which was another cause of concern for me, since I was afraid of falling asleep. At five minutes to 2, the invigilators entered the room lazily, staring grudgingly at everyone for ruining their Sunday. They were probably being paid 50 bucks an hour for invigilation, which isn’t much considering it was a two-hour test. The man (henceforth MI or male invigilator. There was a lady too) was dark with a thick moustache. I guess he was almost disappointed at the misprint of ‘3 hrs test time’ on the question paper. Lost 100 bucks probably. The couple looked like they were going to break into a dance routine of Dhagaala Laagli Kala any moment, to drive away their boredom.

And it didn’t help when the guy behind me asked, “Sir, test center Mumbai likhana hai ya Dadar?” And the invigilator answered with a tone that Raj Thackeray would have been proud of, “Dadar, Mumbai likho.” I decided to use my Marathi weapon here and smugly asked, “Sir, ithe stamp pan maraycha ahe.” But he wasn’t too pleased with me and gave me an ‘I know what I’m doing’ look and told me to wait.

MI was again called for, when a girl kept asking doubts about the codes. Symbi people had also decided to take feedback on the level of the question paper (talk about insecurity) and the girl asked, “Sir, what if I don’t fill it?” And LI (lady invigilator) replied, “Notheeng. Feel it as asked.” The next time the girl raised her hand, I glanced back (I was on the first bench right at the door) at gave her the ‘Where were you when brains were being given out’ look and uttered a loud “mch” sound, after which two others followed suit. She had a superior air about her, and she thought she was the most attractive girl in the class.

Which she was. In Kirti College. Which isn’t saying much.

She had that ‘I ask doubts, I’m inquisitive, you’re all just rattu popats’ look on her face and she made sure that she gave that look to anyone who cared to glance in that direction.

The boy behind me raised his hand and asked again, “Poora address likhana hai ya sirf Dadar, Mumbai?” He would probably complete filling his details by 3:30. I only hoped he didn’t ask if Bombay was to be written, because I was sure that MI would have called the MNS/Shiv Sena on him if he did.

I couldn’t suppress my laughter when MI said, “Sweech off mobile pphhones” and he caught me laughing, though he didn’t do anything. Probably the first time someone reacted to something he said. The test itself was simple, which meant that I wouldn’t do as well as the others. GK was a bitch, and some of the questions were real teasers. English was a complete cakewalk, and LR too was decent. I felt that I didn’t do that well in Quant and that I would be on the borderline for SIBM and SCMHRD.

Miss ‘Room no 205, Kirti College’ had decided to just hang around the entrance and not let anyone pass without saying ‘Excuse me’ until a sardar came up to her and said, “Aap aise chowkidaar jaise kyun khadi hain? Jaane dengi please?” Way to go, paaji. I made my exit just a few students after the sardar and the beauty queen was still recovering from the comment and I deliberately said, “May I go now?” She probably wanted to beat me up or something.

I just left quietly and caught a cab to Dadar station.

Image: Google


swati nidiganti said...


Poor girl!!!
That is all I can say.. :)

Hiranmay Koparkar said...

SSD : born to appear for B School Exams and write about them later :)

SSD said...

And then get rejected :)

IcE MaiDeN said...

Hey thats where me and Pratham gave our JEE!!!!

SSD said...

@Ice Maiden Haha. Must have enjoyed it I guess.

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

hehehe I was a student of Kirti College so could actually relate with whatever u have written here. Pajji had guts, dint he? He will surely become a boss.