Monday, October 4, 2010

Smart phone – is it really smart?

Technology. What you're always hearing is that it makes life easier. Wrong. It makes life much more difficult. Now now, don't judge me too soon. Hear me out. I too had a smart phone. I had the Alcatel One Touch Net Phone. But ever since I lost it, my life has never been the same again. 

For starters, I miss the neat display that the phone had. Ah, those beautiful moments I spent looking at those wallpapers of beauties, natural sceneries still linger in my mind. And then there was the 2 MP camera. I cannot but resist and tell you how useful it was. One click, and that was it. Your creepy smiling picture was on my phone. I'd once used it to scare my cousin who wouldn't go off to sleep. It's still there in his bedroom. I'm kidding. No I'm not. 

And those poses you threw at the office party when you had a little too much to drink? Yes all of them. Those made their way to the phone too. Now you know why I don't drink. But I'm a good friend, and I only showed it to the secretary, and all the other people who sit beside her. I was as safe as the Liverpool defence. With the huge 8 GB memory the phone had, I had a lot of space to capture exactly what I needed (read: something to use as leverage to extract favours. And treats.) I loved updating my Facebook album with pictures (sometimes even the ones which you objected to). Yahoo! Social Pulse, you are what got me addicted to this monster called Facebook.   

Here is a picture I took while on the road. Hilarious, no?

And then there was Twitter. All I had to do was to watch the CWG coverage live on DD and follow certain other geniuses on Twitter, who had taken it upon themselves to kill some people through laughter that night. I laughed so much while reading my phone that my folks thought I had (finally) gone mad (after spending four years in engineering college). And with an optical trackpad as smooth as Deepika Padukone's skin, there was no stopping me. I was the browsing king, the Rajni of mobile browsing. One flick of a finger, and I would riding along like only the Thalaivar can do in his films. All that was needed were the sound effects. Sigh, Yahoo! didn't provide that. But I'm not one to complain.

And if I was every bored, I would ping someone on the Yahoo! Messenger. I'd done it several times in a meeting. It was fun chatting with the person sitting right beside you, and the boss had no idea what was going on. Tee hee, such evil things I've done! 

During my travel, music was my refuge. You see, I had to travel to some remote places, where internet wasn't available. But the music player provided respite. Have you ever experienced the joy of FM radio? I have, while sitting in the last seat of a bus in a small town near Pune. The joy of listening to AIR while jumping in your seat like Jeetendra has possessed you (without the white suit and shoes) is a heavenly feeling. 

I still remember going back to office after a meeting, and the boss wasn't quite happy with me. All I'd done was correct him. And he was wrong, and I had the Yahoo search feature on the phone to prove that. But no. He wouldn't listen. He warned me, and gave me a dressing down in front of his secretary. Poor boss! He thought he owned me, and I let him have that feeling. At the very moment he screamed at me, I knew it was time. I sold my company stock through the Portfolio Manager and instantly made a lot of money. I could have bought him you know, with the money I made.

And texting? I could hide my text messages. You can only surmise how much mischief that can cause, eh! Naughty naughty! 'Twas fun though.

But all that is gone now which brings me to the point of the post. I cannot correct my boss, fool around with my friends or do any of the above things. 

Is it really a smart phone if it's absence leaves you helpless? I feel completely bereaved after losing it, and am unable to cope with the loss. How smart is that on the phone's part?